Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
