The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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