I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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