I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
