big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
