please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
