im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
