Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
