Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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