i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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