the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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