I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
either way he was missing a nipple.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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