So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
