Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The best revenge is premature balding
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
