Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
