I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
