Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
