how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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