I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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