i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
