I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
North Korea, Best Korea!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
