I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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