he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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