just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
