yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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