mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Houston, we have a blender
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
