Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
