how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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