And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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