we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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