Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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