There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
