glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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