When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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