dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
