I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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