Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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