I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
