I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
