So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
