I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I need to calm my uterus...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
