This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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