she smelled like a LAN party
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
