I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
