she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
this hospital has no fireball
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
