hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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