you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
