All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
