did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
