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• (989): View more from Michigan

  i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.

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• (914): View more from New York

  we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.

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• (718): View more from New York

  He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.

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• (951): View more from California

  I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up

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