Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
