so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
