Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
