I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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