I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
